An open letter to Procter & Gamble

To the inventor of Charmin MegaRoll:

My husband and I succumbed to your marketing campaign and the coupon that was recently in our Sunday circular, and we bought our first package of Charmin MegaRoll. It was one of the biggest mistakes of our lives.

Oh sure, you advertise that we won’t have to change the roll as often. And technically, that’s true. Because the roll only dispenses One. Square. At. A. Time. The roll is so fat that it catches on the back of the paper holder. Pull – stop – rip. Pull – stop – rip. This phenomenon is particularly annoying in the dark bathroom at 3:00 AM.

Your ingenious Extender works great. If you hold it with one hand so it’s perpendicular to the wall, while simultaneously pulling on the paper with the other hand. Unfortunately, the toilet paper holder in our bathroom (and many other American bathrooms) is located on the same wall as the toilet, requiring users to reach around behind them to access your product. Have you ever tried to twist your body and reach both arms three feet behind you while attempting to maintain your ass in its position over the toilet? I didn’t think so. And apparently, neither has your Quality Assurance department.

I suggest you update your QA test labs to prevent this problem in the future. In the meantime, my husband and I will go back to purchasing the MicroMini single-use rolls of Cottonelle.

Sincerely,

Sharkey

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