This just in . . .

Kranki Emerges Victorious in Cancer Battle

It was reported today that von Krankipantzen, the internet’s favorite Siamese-cat-crushing blogger, received a clean bill of health from her doctors in Canada. “Kranki has shown amazing strength, stamina, and good humor during this nearly year-long battle,” said Dr. Bob LaBlaw of Vancouver’s famed Hooter Hospital.

Police reported excessive traffic jams in Kranki’s Vancouver neighborhood as several thousand jubilant revelers crowded the streets in celebration.

Film at eleven . . . .

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