Remembrance & Thanksgiving

It was the most beautiful sunny day with the brightest blue sky you can imagine. I was driving to work in suburban Philadelphia, listening to Imus in the Morning on the radio. I think he had a guest on that morning—a guest who was in New York. When they first mentioned a plane flying into the World Trade Center, even they were confused.

From that point, I remember bits and pieces of the day. The second plane, the buildings falling, the inaccessibility of internet news sites because they couldn’t handle the traffic, people in the office huddled around the snowy screen of a 5″ black and white TV. But I didn’t feel the horror of it the same way you probably did. I felt numb. I felt numb because I was in the midst of being diagnosed with breast cancer, and the very next day it was confirmed by a mammogram.

For me, the week was a blur. I purposely avoided the news because I just couldn’t deal with the the tragedy in addition to what was going on in my personal life. And now, five years later, it feels like the attacks and the days that followed are a part of our national culture that I don’t really share. I feel the sorrow for those who were lost, and the admiration for those who served despite the danger to themselves. But somehow, I think it’s different than it would be if I had been more engaged that week.

My memories of September 11, 2001, will always be intertwined with my diagnosis. Each year when the anniversary approaches, I mourn the people and our way of life that were lost that day. But I also give thanks that I’m still here to remember.


6 Responses to “Remembrance & Thanksgiving”

  1. Lazy Lightning Says:

    Great post.

    I was in a hotel in Dickinson, ND the morning of the attacks. I was there with my parents, on the way to Oregon where I was about to start college. My dad went down to the lobby for some coffee and when he came back, he said everyone was huddled around the TV down there so he turned ours on, and we watched the second plane crash.

    It didn’t seem real to me (it was on TV, right?) We continued to travel west, throughout the day gathering more news at gas stations and restaurants where we stopped.

  2. mainlinemom Says:

    I’m really glad you’re still here to remember too.

  3. Suzie Says:

    I couldn’t agree with Mainline Mom more!

  4. oddmix Says:

    I’m glad you are here, too! And I, too, have an oddly detached view of 9/11. I had my tonsillectomy. I was under general when it happened. The rest of the day was in a drug induced haze and I was medicated all week for pain. I feel the tragedy, but I feel a disconnect, too.

  5. Von Krankipantzen Says:

    Wow! What a complicated and emotional time.

  6. undercovermutha Says:

    God bless you, girl. I felt somewhat disconnected too, being so far away. I went through one bombing, and I wasn’t ready for more death and destruction. It’s easier for me to just feel numb.

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